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Top fives

You all know the deal by now.

Comment and I'll give you a topic for either a top five or a top ten.


northbard gave me: Five Top Reasons Ninjas Suck



I love ninja. I really do. But, that said, I can admit that there are things the ninja need to work on.


  1. Refusal to update their arsenal. Seriously, this is the 21st century. Shuriken, swords and short bows don't cut it any more. Also, using these weapons kind of makes it very clear that someone was killed by a ninja, which is not always a good idea. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight, guys.

  2. Monotonous wardrobe. I can get behind the all black, but really, always wearing a loose fitting gi with a hood and mask? Variety, people! This is why pirates are so far ahead on the MPNR indexs these days - you can go butch or femme as a pirate. With a ninja, you have no real options.

  3. The ninja rule - the more ninja attack, the easier they are to defeat.

  4. The element of surprise. Really, by this point, isn't *everyone* expecting a ninja attack? They're second only to the Spanish Inquisition in predictability. I, at least, have worked expectation of ninja attack into my daily life.

  5. Their hiring standards really plummeted when they started admitting adolescent amphibians with genetic disorders. Won't someone think of the oddly green children?

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Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
ice_scratchin_b
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
But nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

10 me please, because I hate my job.
curgoth
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
That was true, once. Now, really, everyone expects them.

Top ten comic book characters.
(Deleted comment)
curgoth
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Top five classes to teach if you could teach absolutely anything you wanted to.
redsash
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
You're also allowed to wear a basket on your head. You know, for travelling incognito...

~r
redsash
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
It doesn't even have to be black...

~r
curgoth
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
I am willing to allow for winter ninja in white, but the camoflage ninja is just... tacky. So, ok, they have options. Just, *bad* options.
ice_scratchin_b
Mar. 7th, 2007 05:43 pm (UTC)
What about the red ninja outfit, a la Jinx from GI Joe?
curgoth
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
Well, yes, but then you're in disguise, and not actually dressed as a ninja!
redsash
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
No, it's understood that you're a ninja travelling incognito.

Really, the pajamas are just for stealth work...

~r
pez_minotaur
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
Comedy gold, well done.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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