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Mar. 6th, 2003

I swiped this from jooolz. Reposted here so I don't bring any more flamage into her journal than she may already receive.

A truly Canadian apology to the USA
Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice
of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron
shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like
you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than
you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse
would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice
you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but,
we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against
a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it
took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was
different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.
We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

Rick Mercer is a Canadian comedian whose talent is currently being wasted on a shitty Canadian sitcom, instead of a clever Canadian current events-based sketch comedy show, where he belongs.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 6th, 2003 08:21 am (UTC)
There's a Canadian sitcom?
Mar. 6th, 2003 08:26 am (UTC)
Yes, unfortunately. Something about a tv studio... "Made in Canada" I think. Like eveyr attempt to create a Canadian sitcom, the results are pretty dismal.

The CBC should stick to what it does best; sketch comedy, news, and weird documentaries.
Mar. 6th, 2003 08:29 am (UTC)
And yet...
... they aren't running the new Degrassi. Seriously, that show rocks. And no, I'm not kidding. I don't understand how it ended up on CTV, however. I wonder how that came about? Did CBC own the rights and sell them? Or did the producers own them and just shop it around?

Maybe I should shut up before I reveal more of my embarassing TV-viewing habits ;)

In other news? I almost posted that Rick Mercer "apology" in my LJ, but I was too chicken - not because I was afraid of offending my friends so much as I didn't want to know if I have any friends who would be offended by such a thing. Ignorance is bliss, right?
Mar. 6th, 2003 09:56 am (UTC)
This yankee's laughing.

1 - well I sure didn't vote for him
2 - you folks need to get off the tree/paper habit as bad as we do. engineered, recycled lumber. the future (not plastics)
3 - well, what else to you folks do all ten months of your winter? (don't answer that, please)
4 - yeah, we like it. Although I am tempted to burn it again, if that would make my point.
5 - Erg. yeah. Michelob makes Amber Bock, that does in a pinch. Killians was okay until Coors took a piss in it... what are ya gonna do? Import.. mmmm... Murphys... mmmm... Celebrator Dopple Bock... double yummmm... what? Labatts? Are you kidding? Yuck.
6 - what? did somebody say North Korea? huh? the war on terrorism must be *winnable.* don't you know. just like the war on drugs. winnable in our *lifetime*. yeah. believe it... and while you are believing, let me sell you some prime vacation land in Florida... and you will be sure that we will get all those holdout Al-Quaida that are hiding up Saddam's ass... (watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat, Rocky...)
7 - heh. heh heh...
Mar. 6th, 2003 10:31 am (UTC)
I'm with you on the beer, more or less. I work across the street form the Labatt's brewery. As horrible and reeking as the beer is in the bottle, the plant smells even worse.

For myself, I don't trust any beer I can see through.
Mar. 6th, 2003 11:17 am (UTC)
Hey! We have some very good beer, thank you very much. Although none of it is made by Labbatt's.

Which reminds me that I still need to arrange an all-you-can-drink beer party sometime at the Brick brewery, with crashing at my mom's place in Waterloo afterwards, so the drivers might drink.

But now I've said too much ... with my history of action on this idea (which, for the record, was planted by my mother a year and a half ago), I'll probably just wind up with disappointed friends.
Mar. 6th, 2003 07:22 pm (UTC)
Your mother suggested you have a crash-at-her-place brew bash. Really.

Wow. That's some kind of mom.

Waterloo...Waterloo... I should know where this is... Ah, yes... in between the bluewater and Toronto. Right. (thank you Google)
Mar. 7th, 2003 11:16 am (UTC)
Where the fuck is Bluewater?
Mar. 7th, 2003 08:33 pm (UTC)
hee hee hee....
The bluewater bridge: you know, that backwater over in Sarnia that takes you into the lower wastes....

Mar. 10th, 2003 07:51 am (UTC)
Re: hee hee hee....
Ah well, ignorance is bliss I guess.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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