November 26th, 2001

sick

TTC Hell

The trip in this morning sucked.

I was planning to get in for 9:30, and stay until 6 p.m.. Because I am going to kung fu tonight, there's no reason for me to leave work before 6; I'll just end up sitting around trying to think of something to do while I wait kung fu to start. Also, staying 30 min late Monday means I can leave 30 min early on Tuesday, when leaving early can make a big difference.

So, I left with an aim to get to work around 9:30. I got to the subway station at 8:30, which is cutting it a bit close, but still ok.

Then the voice comes over the intercom; "we are experiencing a delay at our dundas station with a passenger assistance alarm". Annoying, but should only cost me 5-10 minutes.

Then, a couple minutes later, I realize that there is a train sitting half way out of our station. As in, it started to leave, but then stopped for some reason.

"We are currently experiencing a problem at our Rosedale station with a medical emergency. Emergency personnel have been dispatched, etc, etc."

By the time the problem at Dundas got cleared up, a new problem had arisen at Queen. And things were still a mess at Rosedale.

It was after 9 by the time things got moving and I got to Bloor, where I switch directions, and start heading west instead of south.

It was 10 by the time I got here.

Ugh.
  • Current Music
    (Trance Control) - Atomic Dance Explosion (Starcraft Edit)
smirking half-hawk

I have become Meh, destroyer of worlds.

I am feeling a bit burned out.

I simply can't find any motivation to get anything done at work.

It's not that I don't have adequate time off; while I'd like more, that's not the issue. I've had a fair number of days of in the last 6 months.

I think the problem is that I have no outlet for creativity.




Here, time is bit of a factor. If I had a lot of spare time, I could start a project of some kind, one of the dozens that I've had floating around for some time. But there isn't enough time to get into something like that.




Work doesn't offer much of a creative outlet either, these days; things have become rote, just doing the same things over and over with minor variations.

This, of course, is why one gets paid for work; if it was fun all the time, people would do it for free.




I think what I'm looking for now is something to get caught up in, something to supply inspiration. I think this is why I've been craving role-playing so much lately. A few hours of focussed creative thought, and enough material to keep the back of my mind busy while the rest of my brain gets work done.

The Amber campaign from the summer did this very well. So did the collection of games at ambercon in September.




Health is probably another factor here; I've been eating rather poorly lately, and I suspect that may have something to do with my moodiness.

I should learn to love salad, and steam more vegetables.

Exercise is a double-edged sword; when I have several good workouts in a week, I feel better, more energetic and bouncy. On the other hand, all that takes a fair bit of time. This reduces my opportunity to do anything with the extra energy.

Sleep, also is a good thing which is not always as available as it ought to be.




Grunk.

Meh.

I have become Meh, destroyer of worlds.
  • Current Music
    VNV Nation - Ascension