April 18th, 2004

smirking half-hawk

eep.

Busy day. Up at 8, at Ikea by 11:30. Done at Ikea by 12:20. Lunch at the Bier Markt not until 2:30. Had a cider and a 750 ml of "Terrible", a very nice dark beer from Unibroue. Finished lunch off with a decaf cafe au lait at somewhere near 4.

At 10:40, when I noticed my hands were shaking, I realised why I had been having an anxiety/panic attack most of the afternoon. That coffee was not decaf. Didn't notice at the time because of the beer. My veins itch. On the inside. Most unpleasant. More paranoid than usual; where I normally look around a lot when walking at night, I was even looking up. Just in case. I can feel people walking behind me looking at me like needles in my back. My reptile brain is screaming for knives. As stupid as it sounds, I am having a bad caffeine trip.

My perceptions of the Kill Bill double feature was a bit skewed, since I spent the whole time in a kind of low grade panic.


Body is saying it is tired. Body is also screaming and I can feel my pulse punding under my skin and there will be no sleep for me any time soon.
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