June 7th, 2005



Dear body - please stop waking up at 5am. While I know there have been a few nights where I have only let you get 6 hours of sleep, it was not my intent to reset my internal clock to only ever allow me to sleep for 6 hours a night.


On the plus side, I got into work at 7:30 this morning, so, in theory, I could leave at 3:30. On the down side, brain hurt. Thinking no working. Caffeine is very, very tempting this morning.


I just fell asleep at my desk while writing this. I think I am going to have to caffinate. The tea pot is already full of herbal peppermint tea, so it's to be small amounts of coffee with hot chocolate mix, skim milk, and, given the weather, perhaps ice.


Today, I have the attention span of a gnat.

Caffeine makes my veins on my arms itch on the inside.

You're after my robot BEE!
smirking half-hawk

it seems dishonest, somehow

I'm reading one of neeuqdrazil's non-fiction cultural studies books right now (After by the Flesh, the Culturasl Politics of Body Modification). It's an interesting book about a topic I'm interested in. The cover, though, is a bit risque (a tatooed woman wearing a bikini style top that is held on, not with straps, but hooks through the skin). So, to prevent people from thinking I am reading porn (which I nearly got into trouble for when I was reading Kushiel's Dart a couple years ago), I have put a white paper cover on the book.

I'm not sure if this is just going to convince people that I am, in fact, reading porn, or what. But it seems dishonest that I am covering up what I'm reading.

(caffeine is destroying my ability to focus on work, and making me more likely to post weird things. But I'm awake!)
smirking half-hawk

mediated personalities

A lot of people have been talking about how they use thier journals, recently. About meaningful content vs memes vs bland recountings of daily events.

When his blog was active, William Gibson talked a fair bit about mediated personalities - how sometimes he was surprised to encounter the mediated William Gibson, and how different that person was from the self he usually related to.

What we do when we write in our livejournals is creating a mediated personality of our own - we shape how our readers see us when we pick and choose the thoughts and events in our life to write about.

If you ever thought telepathy would solve the world's problems, look at livejournal more closely - when people can read what other people are thinking, what's bugging them, etc., we tend to get Drama. As LJers progress, many of them begin to more heavily censor thier journals to avoid Drama. This tends to mean posting less about intensely personal feelings and experiences, which in turn mediates the personality that readers experience.

The person you all know as curgoth is not exactly the same person I think of as me.

(this may be what happens when I start reading more non-fiction humanities books, and drinking caffeine.)