Things I want to be studying, not sorted for priority;
- I want to go back to jujutsu somewhere, and study a relatively classical/self-defense oriented style. The lack of self-defense training is starting to make me itchy. I'm starting to feel sloppy.
- I want to study kung fu again as well, though I really want to study with J., the sifu from Jing Mo who also taught at the jujutsu club I trained at in Oakville.
- Weapons! I'd like to learn some Japanese sword work.
- Weapons! I'm also interested in something like AEMMA, or possibly just SCA stick fighting.
- I want to learn PHP - I spend enough time with PERL, it's just silly that I don't know PHP.
- Python, too.
- Art! I want to take a figure drawing class.
- Art! I want to take something on sculpture/jewelry making. I need to learn how to cast things to move on.
- Crafts! I want to learn leatherworking.
- Part of me also wants to go back to formal school and takes courses with the intent of getting a degree.
On top of all this, though, I need to keep going to the gym 3 times a week, and I want to maintain or increase the level of my social life.
So, that leaves me with 3 nights at the gym, and friday and saturday for social life/chores. That leaves one week night, and sunday for potential learnifying. Winning the lottery and not having to work would make things a lot easier, but failing that...
I'm trying to rate things in terms of problems with actually doing them;
- I haven't found a club that teaches what I want in Toronto. I don't think driving to Oakville a couple times a week would be worth it - also, the cost at that club is pretty high. Also a concern - when I was taking kung fu and going to the gym, I had a hard time keeping up - if I ended up being too tired one night, it threw my schedule off.
- See above - Oakville is the only place I could train with J.
- I'm not sure I'd want to learn Japanese sword work without #1 to work with it.
- This would actually be easier - the SCA doing their sword practice at Casa Loma, and AEMMA isn't that far away. I don't know if I'd find the historical re-enactment side too distracting, though. There's also the whole fear of not being able to fit into the SCA that's kept me from looking into it before now.
- No reason I can't... but low on priorities.
- I'm trying to get work to cover this one, actually.
- Even lower on priorities.
- I should find out where I can do this, and how much it should cost. The only down side would be guilt at not doing something physical, plus me being apophrehensive about my relative lack of talent.
- As above. Plus, potentially pricey, and may require equipment that I won't be able to have much access to.
- As above - also, I suspect this could get expensive very fast.
- It's only *part* of me that wants to do this...
The biggest thing, really, is the danger of overbooking myself. I'm already not getting home until 8pm three nights a week, and my schedule gets a little messed up every time I have to stay late at work, or go to an appointment after work. Not having enough time left to spend any time with the Lizard is a major concern. I don't know that I could actually maintain a committment to doing something with another night of my week, or with time on the weekend. Time is going to get tighter when work moves, and I have to spend time fighting traffic.
The other thing making me nervous is the social aspect of all these things - I'm not a very socially adept person, and typically, I just do my own thing with minimal social contact. New environments tend to exacerbate this, and make me extra uncomfortable. In martial arts, for example, I've always felt uncomfortable because I just don't connect with anyone on social level, and it shows. Going back to classes makes me think of high school, which I hated.
The end result is, I guess, that I'm heavily conflicted about what I want to do. I want more, but overextending myself isn't going to be good for me either. Working or sleeping less would make things easier, but I cannot safely decrease either of those.
What am I going to do? Probably waffle and angst about it for a while, and do nothing, for the time being.